Nine years ago this guy came into this world and stole my heart
and life has been nothing short of amazing ever since. He’s shown me a love
that I never knew existed and I’m getting ready to share that same love with
another child. <3
Nine years is a long time being an only child, and for 5 of those
years, it was just me and him and he had my undivided attention. So when TJ and
I got married in 2014, it was an adjustment for Talon, and he’s still
adjusting. And now he’s getting ready to have to share my attention yet again
with his soon to be sister.
First I should start by saying that Talon is so completely excited
about having a sister. Technically he wanted a brother but I convinced him
having a sister will be great too. :) When he
talks about her/me, it’s not “mom’s having a baby”, it’s ‘WE'RE having a baby’
or ‘when OUR baby gets here…’, and it completely melts my heart. Talon has such a
sweet and loving heart and I have no doubt that he will be the best big
brother.
But I also know that it’s going to be a little tough on him at
first, because she will demand so much of my time, especially in the beginning,
so I’ve been trying to prepare him (and myself) for what’s to come to make this
change as easy as possible on him.
I first realized I needed to be more sensitive to him towards this
big change a couple months back when TJ and I were putting together furniture
for Taylor’s room. If you are like me, putting together furniture with a
million pieces can cause some anxiety and irritability, so when Talon said he
wanted to help, I told him no way, that it would be best for him to just hang
out in his room and let us take care of it. Well, that didn’t go over well. He’s
feelings were hurt and he stomped off to his room. First I was mad
for how he reacted, but then I thought about why he reacted that way—he didn’t
feel included. TJ and I were doing something together for Taylor and he felt
left out. I finally got it. And I felt so bad.
So the next day, I had to put together some shelves for the
dresser so I invited Talon to help, and to no surprise, he was a great helper
and it made him so happy. It made me happy, too. And ever since that moment, I’ve
made sure to include him in as many things regarding Taylor as possible so he
wouldn’t feel left out again.
He helped to paint her nightstand, he’s helped to organize her
entire room, he’s helped to do her laundry and fold her clothes, and we even
went to a “Big Brother” baby class so he could learn how to help take care of
her, and he’s loved every bit of it.
On top of that, we’ve had that conversation that since Taylor will
need so much of my time at first that I would really have to depend on him to
help. And not just helping with Taylor, but taking on some ‘big kid’
responsibilities. I’m not ashamed to admit that Talon is slightly babied by his
momma. I mean, he is my baby boy after all. But I also realize that it is time
for him to be a little more independent because he is 9 and overall that is what
is best for him. Even if I want to, I can’t baby him my whole life. I want him
to grow up to be responsible, independent and able to take care of himself so
he can also one day take care of his own family and those expectations have to
begin way before then. And I’ve learned that even at the age of 9, giving some
responsibilities to him has been empowering to him. It makes him feel ‘big’
when he does things that I used to do for him, and he hasn’t felt like “mom can’t
take care of me anymore since she’s having another baby’. It’s been the
complete opposite, and it’s only made our relationship even better.
He now sets his own alarm every morning for school and gets
himself up, starts his own shower, and gets completely dressed and
ready, room straightened, bed made, dirty clothes put up, takes his allergy
medicine and vitamin, and teeth brushed for 2 minutes, and ready to go before I’m
even ready to go. That in itself has been a HUGE relief in the mornings because
before, it was me doing/reminding him to do all of this which normally resulted
in us rushing and/or running behind. To help, I got him a tooth brush timer and
a pill case so I’m not having to get his medicine out for him every morning.
He even cleaned his own bathroom last week when I was
cleaning house. And get this, he VOLUNTEERED to do it. It was amazing.
So while I know this is only the beginning and it’s still
probably going to be a little rough/adjusting to once Taylor gets here, I still
have no doubt that he’s going to be the best big brother and such a good
supporter to even me and because of that, I feel so completely blessed.
Confession:
I wanted to get Talon some special gifts for when Taylor arrives. Here's a sneak peak---
