So I've been in a bit of a funk lately. I've been dealing
with more than normal stress, and just some things in life not working out the
way I'm wanting them to, leaving me to question some decisions I've made-- you
know, life stuff that we all deal with from time to time. One of the hardest
parts of being single (and a single parent) is dealing with these types of
situations on your own.
It. Is. Tough.
These last couple of weeks, I haven't felt like doing
anything. I've been the biggest homebody. If I'm not working, I'm at home. This
evening when I finished working, I put on my comfy clothes, and curled up on
the couch. Wednesday nights are the nights I bowl with my parents and I had no
desire to go tonight. I had typed up a text to send to my mom to see if she
could get a sub because all I wanted to do was lay on the couch but before I
could hit send, I reminded myself that I couldn't let my sulking interfere with
commitments I've made. So I forced myself off the couch, put on my shoes, and
went bowling.
And I'm glad I did.
For those next 2.5 hours, I didn't worry about life's
stresses. Instead, I worried about what deliciously unhealthy food I was going
to eat for dinner, and whether or not I was going to pick up that 7-10 split. It
was fun, relaxing, and a sweet escape. And it was then I realized just how
important it is to have a 'hobby'. I haven't really had one in years. All the
time I get asked "what do you do for fun?" "what are your
hobbies?" "what do you like to do in your free time?" My
response is always, "what is that? What's free time?" I've never
really made time for that. If I'm not
working, I'm with Talon. If I'm not with Talon, I'm doing something for one of
the organizations I'm involved in. If I'm not doing that, I'm with my family or
friends, or cleaning house, running errands, doing laundry, you know, adult
stuff. When I told my parents I would bowl with them in this league, I
immediately retracted my statement the next day with the reason being-- I don't
have time. For some reason somehow I've convinced myself that free time isn't
something I should have during the week. I should always be doing something
productive, especially the nights Talon stays with his dad. I should use those
nights to work late and catch up on anything I'm behind on.
My parents found a replacement for me to finish up the
league season but yet I'm still bowling, by my choice. Each
week I tell them I'll bowl the next week then I'm done. Then the next week
comes and I'll say, I'll bowl one more week then I'm done. And I've realized
the reason for my reluctance-y to quit is, I actually enjoy bowling. And I'm
not even really sure it's the bowling I enjoy, it's the breaking up of the work
week monotony I enjoy. It's the doing something fun I enjoy. It's having those
couple of hours during the week where I don't worry about what I need to do at
work or at home. I can just relax, and have fun.
When I got home this evening, I had a new found energy. Even
though I'm still completely stressed about life right now, I now have this revitalizing
feeling that I'll work through it like I always do, and everything will be
okay. All that, just from bowling. :)
Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm ready for it.
