No Scrubs

Believe it or not, I'm very old fashioned when it comes to relationships and a family. I do believe the husband is the head of the household. He makes the money, he protects the family, he's in charge of finances, and he has the final say. I also believe the wife does the cooking, cleaning, and takes care of the kids. Let's let that soak in for a minute before throw in my 'but'. BUT, even though those are the main responsibilities of each, I also believe they help each other out. I will always work, I actually enjoy it, and enjoy contributing to my family and society BUT I feel it's the husband's responsibility to stress over the finances. I enjoy cooking and cleaning because I like taking care of people BUT that doesn't mean I don't expect the guy to throw some burgers on the grill every once in a while or pick up after himself. Decisions should be made together but I do feel the man has the final say BUT that is only because I would only be with someone who I completely trust and know they will do what's best for our family. This doesn't mean the guy can come home from work and start barking orders at me. No no no no. He does that and I'll tell him to kick rocks real fast. You each have your own responsibilities but you work together as a team to fulfill them.

Now let's talk about that right relationship. You learn from experience it takes a lot more than just liking someone to make a relationship work. The biggest things I've learned from my past relationships is what doesn't work, and what I don't want.

Attraction is a funny thing. The hottest guy in the world could ask me out but there's a chance I could say no. Why you ask? Well it takes a lot more to win me over. Unless it was Channing Tatum. When you are on that Channing Tatum level, it's a whole different story. Let's all just take a moment and just thank sweet baby Jesus for this....

Aaaanyways, where were we? Oh yes, attraction. Attraction is more than just looks, it's actually the opposite to me. It's everything else you have to offer that makes me attracted or not attracted to you, and enhances or take away from your looks.

So what am I looking for? Well that's a good question with 5 easy answers.

1. I want someone who is driven. I don't care what your job is (as long as you have one and as it's legal), as long as you work hard at what you do, take pride in your work, and have initiative to keep bettering yourself, that's all that matters to me.

2. I want someone who has the same religious beliefs as me. I am a Christian, I do believe in God, and I do believe going to church is something that's important. It's important that whoever I'm with feels the same.

3. I want someone I completely trust. Trust is big. It's huge. Insecurity is the worst feeling and never ever would I be with someone I didn't trust.

4. I want someone who is all about family. I'm very close to my family. I see or talk to my parents and sisters every single day. They are the biggest part of my life. I need someone who wants to be a part of that.

5. Most importantly, I want someone who accepts Talon. I'm not looking for a dad for Talon, he has one of those. A good one too. I'm looking for someone to love Talon, enjoy spending time with him, be a positive influence on his life, and just be his best friend and someone he looks up to.

Now those are the most important but there's more. :) I have a very unique personality. I've been called "bossy" or "demanding" but I just call it "getting sh*t done".  It's the attitude you have to have when you do things on your own, such as raising a child, or owning a house. I'm not passive, at all, and I speak my mind. Not in a blunt, rude way, but I'm definitely always honest. I need someone who can handle that and give me some push back.  I'm also a very dorky, nerdy, geeky, person. I say and do things that are completely random and dumb, but I think it keeps life interesting. :) I want someone who appreciates that. I don't want someone who make me feel dumb for doing the robot in the bathroom when I'm getting ready in the morning, or gets embarrassed when I fall into parked cars, or when I get attacked by birds, or run into the automatic doors at Wal-Mart because they didn't open, because those things happen, often. I want someone whose positive and optimistic about life, who loves trying new things and exploring the world and all it has to offer. I want someone I can talk about anything and everything to. I want to be with someone who I'm just completely comfortable around. I want someone who knows who he is, and is confident in himself. I want someone who sees me as his best friend and enjoys spending time with me. I want someone whose proud of me. I want someone who makes me feel safe, that I know always has my back no matter what. I want someone who can make me laugh.  I want someone who makes me happy. I want someone who makes me and my life better.

Truth is, there are lots of guys who possess a lot of those qualities. I've dated some of them and they were great catches. But what's always been missing is that spark. You gotta have that spark. It's that feeling that makes you excited to see them or hear from them and makes you want to get to know them more. It's that instant connection.

Now I could go on and on and on about what I DON'T want. Instead, I'll just let Chilli, T Boz, and Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes sum that up for me....

Confession: I once made a list of all the qualities I was looking for in a guy when I was in high school. How did that work out for me? Well I found him, and he would later become my ex-husband, so.....

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