I Am Me

Some say I'm too picky, my dad says he raised me to be too independent, others say I'll never find what I'm looking for. My oldest niece and nephew are convinced I'll be the old single cat lady. And me? Well I think they are all wrong. All of em'. Then what's my problem? Well I don't think I have one. I just haven't found my perfect match. You may be thinking, and many of you may be yelling this at the screen right now, "There is no such thing as perfect!", and I completely agree. Perfect as in the general definition doesn't exist, but someone perfect for me does. And by that  I mean  someone who balances me, who gets me, who fits into my life and I fit into theirs, whose all about me and I them, someone who can deal with my flaws and I theirs, and who can just put up with me. :) That's a perfect match. Both of my sisters have that, as do my parents. It does exist. That person for me does exist.

The older I get and the longer I am single, the more set in my ways I get and the more comfortable with being single I am. As I've said before, at first, I absolutely hated being single. It was such a hard adjustment. There were nights I would just cry because of how lonely I felt. It was hard for me to get used to being the 3rd, 5th, 7th wheel when I was with my coupled/married friends or even my family. But overtime, I got used to it, I adjusted to it, and now I'm completely okay with it. I like to think me being single is mostly my choice. My life as I know it now has evolved around me being single. When I'm not at work, and don't have Talon and not hanging out with my family, I'm doing homework, going to class, volunteering, hanging out with my girlfriends, and now blogging. :) I did that on purpose: to keep myself from rushing into another relationship. But it has become a catch 22. I'm now ready for a more serious relationship but now I am so busy that it's hard for me to meet new people and make time to get to know people on a different, more intimate level. Furthermore, I've been doing this for so long, it has become a habit. I am a very routine'd person. Through the week, I do the exact same thing. Monday's I work late because I don't have Talon, go home, eat dinner, do homework, then go to bed. Tuesdays, Wednesday's & Thursday's, I go to work, then pick up Talon, cook dinner, play with him, then we go to bed. The Friday's & Saturday's I have Talon, our days our filled with going places and doing fun things together. On the Friday's and Saturday's I don't have Talon, I call up the girls and we get together and go out. Sunday's I relax, do homework, clean the house, do yard work, and laundry. Same thing, everyday. And I enjoy it. I know what to expect. And I enjoy my space. So needless to say, it takes a lot for me to break that routine. I'm not saying I don't, I do, but it's not often. I do want to be with someone, I do want to adjust my life to fit someone else in it, but I will only when it's right. I think It's important to think about the future, what you ultimately want, and makes changes for it, but it's also important to live your life on how it is now, at this very moment. If you don't, you will be left with disappointments.

So you may be thinking, if you live your life the same way everyday, you will have the same things you've always had and get the same things you've always got. It's something I constantly get criticized for. And I agree. If I didn't, then that would be the definition of insanity. I'm ready to adjust my life to fit someone else in it but I won't until I find that right person.

Confession: I think there is a song that can express how you feel at any given moment in your life. That's the beauty of music.  Well this one sums up how I feel sometimes about being single.

Next topic: Who is that right person?