Ready For A New Year

  

This was my status on Jan 1, 2012. I can honestly say 2012 didn't work out at all how I had planned. I thought I would graduate college, I thought I would meet the man of my dreams, I thought my path in life would become more clear. I didn't think so many of my friends would be effected by tragedy as people they loved were diagnosed with cancer and others left this world too soon, I didn't think I'd miss out on my trip to DC for Rotaract International because I was laid up in a hospital bed, and I definitely didn't think I would be diagnosed with cancer. 

But then I stumbled upon this quote:

"Sometimes it takes rain
To make the flowers grow
Sometimes it takes real pain
Before real joy one knows
Sometimes it takes tomorrows
To understand days gone by
Sometimes before the laughter
There comes heavy sigh
Sometimes it takes the midnight hour
To value morning light
Sometimes it takes the longest mile
Before things come insight
Sometimes you often wonder
Why your heart can get so sore
But it's the rocky paths in life
That makes you cherish the smooth roads more."

This is so true. And even through the bad, I still have so much to be thankful for in 2012. 


I made my house into a home. I learned how to become 'handy' and more self-sufficient around the house. I organized even more service projects and while doing so, it made me realize the path I wanted to take my group Hands Filled With Heart. I started a blog which has become very therapeutic for me and I've heard encouraging to others (and has had over 6000 views). I took my first spring break/girls trip to Gulf Shores. I had the best time in Las Vegas. I was blessed with another healthy nephew. I made the most money I've ever made. (cha-ching!) My relationship with God grew stronger.  My relationship with my parents grew even stronger (and I didn't think that was possible). I made the commitment to join a church that I had been attending for a couple of years.  And personally, because of everything that happened in 2012, I grew as a person. 


At the beginning of 2012, I was in a 'tween' stage. Being a mom and spending time with Talon was (is) priority but when he was with his dad, I was out running with my girls, and casually dating in between.  When I was diagnosed with leukemia, it really turned my world upside down and I didn't know where I belonged. I'm still not sure where I belong. But I know where I don't belong. My nights of going out and staying up wayy late are over. Long over. I honestly have no desire for that lifestyle anymore, and haven't for months. I will always enjoy a glass of wine but I have no desire for anything more. 

Furthermore, my days of 'casual dating' are over too. These last couple of years, I've always casually dated. Meaning, I would go to lunch, dinner, or out with a guy consistently but only when it was convenient, for both of us. No big commitment. Never serious. I was okay with that. I'm not okay with that anymore. It's been six months since I've gone on a date or attempted any type of relationship with anyone because I don't want that type of relationship anymore. I want something more. Something more meaningful. You know, the type of relationship that you don't even kiss til several dates later. A relationship that you intend to be something more. A relationship that Talon can be a part of. That's what I want. 


I am not the same person now as I was as the beginning of the year. I think what changed me is I realized, this year, that life can change at any moment. Maybe that was God's intentions....


With that being said, it's only tradition to make some new year's resolutions. Afterall, what is the purpose of life if you don't have any goals? And here are mine for 2013. :)


1. Finish both of my bachelor degrees. Yea, I'm pretty sure this one has been a new year's resolution for a couple of years now. This year is looking promising, however, as I'm only one class away and I'm taking this one class this spring. Come May 2013, I should finally be a graduate of Western Kentucky University.


2. Pay off debt. One of my long term goals is to be debt free. I'm talking no credit car, car, or house payment. This past year I did better by not overspending so this year I just want to spend less, and save more.


3. Become healthier. I hope to go into 'remission' in 2013. Though that is really out of my control, what's in my control is living a healthier lifestyle. I know the side effects from my medication for CML wouldn't be so hard on me if I took better care of my body. I plan on drinking more water, resting more, and working out, even if it just means walking on the treadmill a few times a week. I know this is very cliche but I really can't afford not to do this.


4. Be in a healthy, committed relationship. He's gotta be out there, right? 


5. Continue spreading the word about giving back. I honestly feel like this is what God called me to do. And I am going to continue finding ways to do so. 


6. Go to more concerts. Music is my therapy. Live music is even better. 


7. Be a better mom, sister, daughter, friend, employee, citizen, Christian, person. There is always room for improvement.


8. Continue home improvements. My goals are to redo Talons room, replace ceiling fans, completely organize my basement, and remodel my bathroom.


9. Cook more. I love to cook! But I don't always make time. I plan on trying new recipes and cooking as much as I can!   


10. Commit more time to reading the Bible and getting more involved in church. This is something I feel is important personally, and as a parent.  


I wish all of my friends a happy, peaceful, and prosperous New year. I will end my last post of 2012 with words from the great Benjamin Franklin:

"Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better (wo)man."

Happy New Year!