Breaking Bad News To A 5 Year Old

Death is something that no matter how many times you deal with it, it doesn't get any easier. If anything, the older you get, the harder it gets. Though going to Heaven and being with God is ultimately what we want for the ones we love, and ourselves, it's still so hard to let someone you love go. As an adult, I know death is a part of life, but how do you explain that to a 5 year old?

Talon is no stranger to death. A couple of years ago my grandfather passed away, he still talks about our friend Kori who passed away a year ago, and he often talks about his Mamaw's friend who passed away. He understands that when you get old, you go to Heaven to be with God. Sometimes you go when you are younger, but it usually happens when you are older. Randomly we will be driving in the car and he will talk about Heaven. "What are you going to do when you go to Heaven, mom?" I've explained that in Heaven, you always feel good, you are never sick, and you can do anything you want. We have both decided that when we get to Heaven we are going to go to the beach, and hang out with our family who is already in Heaven. He understands it as much as a 5 year old can understand it.

But today's discussion about death is different, and that is because it's about someone who Talon loves dearly, and this is his Mamaw.

Talon's Mamaw (who is actually his Great Grandma) has always been a big part of Talon's life. For the last several years, she has picked him up from school every single week and they would go to Mr. Gatti's. He looked forward to this every week. He loved spending time with her. She was very close with all of her kids, grandkids, and great grandkids. Family was her life. She cooked the best food, and even in her older age she still actively volunteered. She was the kindest, most loving, most giving person you would ever meet. She had a heart of gold. Even though Talon's dad and I haven't been together for several years, she still considered me family and I her too. She would always invite me to family functions she hosted, and every week when I would pick Talon up from her, she would give me a hug, kiss on the cheek, and tell me she loves me. Every week. She was like a grandmother to me. As a matter of fact, I called her Mamaw too. When she found out I had leukemia, she immediately put me on her church prayer list and let me know that if I were ever to have to do chemo and would lose my hair, she had a friend who would donate her hair to me. Every week when I picked Talon up, she always asked how I was doing, and let me know that she was still praying for me. Every week. And I know she was because that's the kind of person she was.  She was as good to me as she was to Talon, and that's how she was to all of her family and friends.

Around lunchtime today, Talon's dad called me. Just by him saying hello, I knew something was terribly wrong. He called to tell me that his Mamaw had passed away. After a long pause, he said exactly what I was thinking, " I don't want to tell Talon." Of all the deaths Talon has known in his short sweet life, we knew this one would be the hardest because he was so close to his Mamaw. We decided to let his dad break the news to him and later this evening, he picked him up and met up with the entire family. Later he dropped him back off and Talon was very quiet, yet seemed okay.

He walked in the house, sat down on the couch and said to me, "You know what happened mom? Mamaw went to Jesus." As tears filled my eyes, I told him that makes me sad, then asked him if he was sad.
He replied,  "Yes, but we will see her again."
A little shocked by his response I asked, "When?"  
"When we go to Heaven...."

Such a wise little man.

These next few days and weeks to come will be hard for Talon's dad's family, and Talon. I ask that you say a special prayer for them as they lay someone they love dearly to rest. While my heart still breaks for his family, and for Talon, I am so completely thankful that such a wonderful woman was not only a part of my son's life, but also a part of mine too. I know he is only 5 and over time he will forget some things but I have no doubt that he will never forget his Mamaw and the love that she showed him as she will always hold a special place in his heart, and in my heart too.