You Are Your Best Advocate

While I was on hold with Briova RX for the 48th minute, I had an epiphany---

If there is anything I've learned about health care, it's you are your best advocate AND because there are soooo many interconnected parts (doctor, labs, pharmacy, third party billing, insurance company, etc.), do your research, know the system, and make 100% certain you are being charged correctly.

I can give you three examples just today why that's important--

I go in for lab work/check up every three months to check the status of my CML. I've been doing this for the last 6.5 years. I know exactly what type of lab work that will be drawn (CBC and BCR-ABL and can tell you how many tubes and what colors of each and have actually had to tell a phlebotomist that before because they were unsure). The BCR-ABL has to be taken by a certain time to be sent to Louisville to be flown out of state because there isn't any place in Kentucky that can process it. I know this because once they scheduled my appointment after the cut off time and I had to come back a second time the same week to do my labs (AND WHO HAS TIME TO DO THAT?!)

So when I received a letter in the mail stating that my appointment was moved to 11am, I called to tell them that wouldn't work because my lab work has to be done by 10:00am.

Here's the conversation I had--

Me- "Hi, yes I was calling to get my appointment changed because one of my labs has to be completed at a certain time, I believe at 10 or 10:30 am."

Person- "Oh I'm not sure, let me send you to Labs so they can confirm the time". **transfers call**

Me- "Hi, yes I have an appointment next week at 11am. I'll get labs done as well but one of them, the BCR ABL, has to be completed by a certain time so I needed to get my appointment changed."

Labs Person- "Let me look. (brief pause). Oh no, so long as you do it by 3pm you'll be fine.

Me- "Has something changed recently? I've had this same lab done every 3 months for the last 6 years and once came at 11am and had to come back a second time that week because I missed the cutoff time and I can't afford to take off that much time from work."

Labs Person- "Let me call so and so to confirm and I'll call you back."

Labs Peron calls back-- "Oh yes, you are supposed to have this done by 10am but we can be flexible if you get here around 10:30am and I'll get it squared away."

Me- "Thanks". (But what I really wanted to say is why should I have to know this? Shouldn't you all know this when scheduling appointments?! But I didn't.... because I've learned it's just they way the system is)

Then last fall I had my annual mammogram. While I'm under the recommended age to get annual screenings, because my mom had breast cancer at a young age and because I have leukemia, I am a higher risk so I get one every two years. This was my third one. So I was surprised when I got two bills in the mail for about $800. Most people probably would have just paid it but I knew it wasn't right. When I received my benefits statement from my insurance, the reason why it wasn't covered by my insurance is because on the order, it did not indicate as to why I was getting the screening before the recommended age. I had to call the insurance, then the doctor to tell them to correct the order and put 'pre-existing condition' on it, then the billing department which took about an hour total and wait for it to be reprocessed. It took two times over 3 months to get it straightened out.

Then today, I was calling to refill my prescription for my Gleevec. This is the stuff I've been taking for over 6 years, the one I have to take every single day to keep me alive, that one that costs way too much money. My co-pay is $225/month however, I've always been able to find a co-pay assistance card to keep it at $50 or less. Well I learned today it was going to be $200/month. When I asked why, the person did not know but gave me a number to call. When I called that number, that person told me something completely different than the other person. Again, most people would probably would have just given up and paid it. 4 phone calls and 2 hours later, I was able to find a new co-pay card that will drop it down to $100/month. While I'm not looking forward to paying $1200/year on one prescription, it's better than $2400.

So the moral of this story is, do your research. No one will advocate better for you than you. It will take more time than anyone should have to give, you will know more than you should ever have to know about the system, but the return is it will save you your own time and money.

Teacherhood

Teacherhood, it’s a lot like motherhood.

The other morning, I posted on Facebook how I ended up taking my neighbor kids to school because they missed their bus. I received some kind comments and messages about it, specifically my hashtag #EveryKidIsYourKid. While I appreciated the kind words, I’m not any different than most teachers. It’s crazy how once you become a teacher, every kid in that school truly becomes your kid. It’s like a light switch that gets flipped. You feel this need and responsibility to help all of them to be successful, to increase their well being, and just protect them at all times.

And not just when you are at school, actually more so outside of school than anything.  

The evening of the last day of school this past year, my first (half) year teaching, I cried. I cried a lot. And it was because of one student in particular that I had twice a day. He was very opinionated, outspoken, and pushed most people away because of those reasons. Yet he became one of my favorite people to be around, which is weird because some days he was hard to handle and he did challenge me, a lot, but he did mean well and just saw the world differently than most. And I cried because I just worried about him and how the world would treat him. And I still worry about him to this day. 

Several of my students and other students from school have ended up in my driveway to play basketball and I love it when they are there because I know they are okay. 

I was at one of our football games recently and saw one of my students who has that inherent ability to make me want to bang my head against the wall at times. Yet while I was watching him, I felt this protectiveness come over me and wanted to make sure the kids around him were being nice to him.

It was no different when I saw that our neighbors missed their bus.They aren't even my students but I still felt responsible for getting them school. And it’s a responsibility that’s not a burden, rather a privilege. I feel so lucky to be a part of these kiddos lives. And I assure you, I'm not the only teacher who feels this way. This is what a teacher is. 

And It was when I made that Facebook post that the light bulb came on…. Now I know how loved and cared for I’ve been by so many of my teachers over the years. There are so many teachers I’ve had that are a still part of my life. I can count on Mrs. Karen Hill, who I had in elementary school as a teacher twice, to check in on my, leave sweet words of encouragement on my Facebook posts, and give me a big hug every time I see her. So many of my teachers continue to be my biggest cheerleaders and it wasn’t until I became a teacher that I truly understood how much they cared for me. 

It’s like when you become a mom. You never understand how much you are loved by your mom until you become a mom. And it’s an amazing feeling.

The Real MVPs

So the last time we chatted was January 1^st, the day I shared with the world that I accepted a teaching position at a high school. What seemed to be out of the blue was something I had desired to do for over a decade finally happened.

And let me tell you friends, it is the most challenging job I’ve ever had, ever. I’ve worked in retail, started as a sales associate and worked my way up to being a store manager, helped a boss start a business and managed all things on the office side of it, worked in banking, obtained my loan originator license, served as a vice president of a non-profit, started my own non-profit, and also started a small business with my sister. I’ve done all the things. And not to toot my own horn, I think I’ve been pretty good at all the things I’ve done- all of my former employers would give me rave reviews, I have no doubts about it. I say this to say that I think it’s fair to say that I have ample experience and work ethic in the private and non-profit sector to know what a tough job is, and teaching is tough.

So when I hear leadership in our community make smug comments implying teachers don’t work hard, or aren’t good at what they do, or try to discredit those in my profession’s views, it angers me. Teachers are one of the hardest working, compassionate, selfless group of people and so vital to our community. 

And I’m proud to be one.

Let me give you a little insight of what it’s like to be a teacher as a day in the life of this one:

I work with over 130 students every single day, 33-35 at a time. These are students of every walk of life you can imagine. Some from some very amazing homes. But also some from some very broken homes, some who have to work to help support their families, some who are living with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and foster parents, some who are separated from their siblings, some who have to listen to their stepparent be abusive to their other parent, some who come to school hungry, some who are dealing with mental health issues, and so many other issues that causes education not to be at the forefront of their mind or even important to them at the moment. So trying to create an environment to where those students who are facing those tough challenges to temporarily forget about all those challenges so they can learn about the government and economics is no easy task. I put so much time and effort into making my classroom inviting and an environment to where every student feels safe every single day.

Now let’s talk about classroom management. Remember the 33-35 students in each class? Can you imagine having 33-35 teenagers in one classroom for 70 minutes with the goal of keeping them off of their phone and focused on the task at hand? It is no easy task. Some days it's like herding cats. When you have a class that large, if one student starts chatty Kathy’ing, it quickly escalates and you have multiple conversations going on all over the room. Then once you get everyone focused and back on task, an announcement comes on over the intercom or you get a phone call from the office and all it takes is that one small interruption for the chatter to begin and again, you have to get everyone focused and back on track. The mix of personalities in itself can be a challenge. Better yet, it can be exhausting.

Not only do each of those students come from different walks of life, they also have different learning styles and are at different levels educationally. Some students are visual learners, some are kinaesthetic, some are audio, some are verbal, and some are a combination of all. And several have special accommodations that have to be met in addition so trying to create a curriculum that touches on all of those styles is no easy task. Time is spent creating guided notes, lectures, group activities, finding engaging videos, integrating technology, creating educational games, and so much more. That’s on top of keeping the material relevant and engaging so they actually focus and learn and on a level that students who are behind can understand while also making it challenging for the students who are more advanced. Oh and then you have to continually assess to make sure students are grasping the concepts and when they aren’t, you have to reteach which means creating a new way to teach the content and in a time frame that doesn't put you too far behind since there is SO much content you are required to cover. 

You’ll notice I haven’t mentioned knowing the content you are teaching. That’s the easiest part of teaching. It is so much more than just being a subject matter expert. You can be the most knowledgeable person out there about that subject but it doesn’t mean you can effectively teach it. It truly is an art.

Then there is the paperwork. Allll the paperwork. I thought that meant just grading papers. Well it is that, and then a whole lot more. There is the bi-weekly monitoring you have to do for your students who are in special education, slips that have to be completed for interventions when students are failing, attendance, posting grades, sending parent communications, setting aside absent work for the students who miss (and they miss a lot), scheduling make-up tests/quizzes, planning and sending out reminders for the Teenage Republican meetings which I’m a co-sponsor of, updating the website to make sure students who miss can access what they missed so you aren’t wasting time in class getting them caught up.

Then there is all the time spent after hours. So many teachers put in some serious time after that bell rings at the end of the day. There are ballgames you have to work, school events, prom, graduation, field trips, coaching, and committee meetings. That's in addition to the work you didn't get done during planning. I get 70 minutes planning every day. Some days I get the full hour to myself, others I’m in an IEP meeting, staff meeting, PLC meeting, observing other teachers for grad school (more on that in a bit) or covering another teacher’s class who is absent because there is a substitute shortage. But even when I do get a full planning period, it’s never enough time to do all the things. I bring work home every single night whether it be grading papers, emailing parents, posting grades, planning for the following day’s classes, or just learning how to be a more effective teacher.  

See that’s the thing. I know I’m a new teacher but even the veteran teachers will attest that you will constantly try to find different ways to teach a lesson, for many reasons. Every class you have will be different and learn differently and relate differently, and that is even true as the years pass. Most of you reading this were likely taught in a way that is very different in how we teach students today. As society evolves, the classroom also has to evolve and I know how I teach today wont’ be how I’ll teach in 10, 15 years so I have to be sure I’m also learning and growing as a teacher.

Speaking of, even if I didn’t want to learn or grow as a teacher, I kinda have to. All teachers are required to get their master’s degree within 5 years of teaching. I have to do it within 3 through the program I am in. So on top of teaching, I am also a student. I have class 2 nights a week for 2 hours each. I also have assignments that I have to do every week. In addition, I have to observe other teachers of all different grade levels for several hours. This happens during my planning. Many teachers continue beyond their masters to better serve their students.

Other than the occasional full planning I get, it is full throttle from 8:00am-3:30pm. It is constant interactions, conversations, and total mind over-stimulation. The bathroom break is few and far between because you can’t leave students unattended. Even if you could, it’s hard to get away because someone is always at your desk sharing about something, which you don’t want to discourage, even if it means you have to learn how to guzzle down your lunch in 30 seconds or less, or eat it cold, or not at all or stand and eat. I found myself standing and eating on Easter with my family. There were plenty of seats. I’m just used to eating, standing, and talking. It’s what teachers do.

Teachers do a lot. So much more than it looks like on the outside. Every job I’ve had has been tough, I’m not downplaying them at all. But this is by far the toughest and most exhausting. It makes having/managing a business a walk in the park, no joke. When I come home from school, almost every single day I have to take a nap just to get through the rest of the evening (dinner, kids, school work, grad school classes, etc.). Now I'll admit a large part of that exhaustion comes from me having leukemia. But again, I've had several challenging jobs but none of them have pushed my health limits like teaching has. 

But chronic health issue aside, it would still be exhausting. I think it’s because of not only all of the reasons I’ve listed above, it’s also because teachers have a huge responsibility to be a mentor and influencer to every single student that they come in contact with. They have the ability to forever change a student’s life and their future. That is a huge responsibility that carries a lot of weight, enough to keep you up at night.

So why would anyone do it you ask? Obviously not for the money. Or the time off. I went to my class 3 different days over spring break. The only answer can be because of their passion. It is a true calling. What I love most about my job is those 130 kids I get to be around every single day. Even the ones who make me want to pull my hair out, those that make me feel like if I have to remind them one more time how to behave, I may very well scream. Yeah, even those kids. I do it for the high fives I get to give when a struggling student finally gets it. I do it for the tough love I know they need to ensure they are ready for the real world. (Most) of the kids are a joy to be around. They are inquisitive, they are funny, they are optimistic, they are kind, they are energetic, they are insightful, and they are inspiring. And the ones who aren’t, they just need to be loved. And teachers do just that. They’ve been doing it, all of this, for years, much longer than I have. They are the true MVPs.

So in light of what’s currently going on politically, know that teachers aren’t selfish or throwing a tantrum. They are simply doing what they do best—they are advocating for your kids, and for the future of our community, state, and country. If you want to know what you can do to help? Just show teachers some love and respect.

A New, Everything

So a friend of mine started a group for all of those who want to start Whole30 in January. I joined, made my meal plan, my grocery list, and was super pumped. Then later that morning, I jumped in the shower and began thinking about what I did and began hysterically laughing. I’m talking guys from the Shark Tank hysterically laughing.

Why, you ask? Well to think I could cook 2-3 meals a day and NOT have wine for 30 days, while opening a clothing store, taking college courses, and starting a new career is a thought for the medically insane.

Our store should finally open this month. This is a picture of our new floors. Yay!

  

I’m pursuing my masters degree and classes start next week.

And I start teaching social studies at Central Hardin High School on January 15^th.

It’s a BIG, pre-midlife crisis kinda January. And I am so excited!

The only sad part is that it means I’m leaving United Way. December was my 4 year anniversary at United Way and it’s been an amazing ride.

I intentionally took the job as the Resource Development and Financial Stability Coordinator at United Way 4 years ago. Meaning, I took a pay cut of half of what I was making at my previous job with absolutely no benefits because once I learned about the mission of United Way, I knew I needed to be a part of it. And it was one of the best choices I’ve ever made. Since then, I’ve been promoted to Director of Community Engagement and currently the Vice President. I’ve learned so much about myself, our community, and met so many incredible people. That’s the part I’m going to miss the most, the people. There are hundreds of people, donors, volunteers, collaborators, and co-workers I can now call my friends. All that I’ve met and worked with through United Way. 

But it was because of my time at United Way that I learned where God was leading me next. I’ve been advocating for the children and youth in our community for years; the ones who go to bed hungry at night, the ones that in record numbers are going into foster care, the ones who are living in poverty. I’ve presented in hundreds of meetings speaking on behalf of these children in effort to raise money to support organization who are helping to change the odds for these kids. But for the past year, I’ve had this nudge inside of me that was telling me it was time for more. I can’t tell you how many times I laid in bed with my mind racing and my heart sinking at the fact that there are so many kids in our community who don’t have the support system like I’ve been blessed with. And while I know that the work I’m doing at United Way is very important work that is creating that support system for those children, I’ve been feeling like I need to do more. It was time for me to be on the front lines. I didn’t know where or how, I just knew that was the next step for me.

I looked into mentoring at Mission Hope For Kids, which is a great organization. But it would require me to commit one evening a week and with my sister and I in the process of opening a clothing store, I knew I needed to reserve any extra free time to that endeavor.

As time continued to pass, another unexpected opportunity presented itself. To give you a little backstory, my undergraduate degree is in history and social studies. I knew at some point in my life I wanted to teach high school social studies. If you’ve followed my blog, you know that life has led me down various paths from the time I graduated high school until the time I graduated college. As a single mom in college, I couldn’t afford to take off half a year to student teach therefore I couldn’t get my teaching certificate. The idea was to do that later in life once I was more financially stable. 

Now fast forward to the last 5 months or so, everywhere I’ve turned it seemed like I was hearing about the teacher shortage and how you can now get your teaching certification through something called Option 6. The first time I heard about it, I thought, oh that’s neat. The second time I heard about it someone told me I should look into it as they knew I had a desire to one day teach. But I loved my job at United Way, I had no intention of leaving anytime soon. But by the 3^rd and 4^th time, I finally stopped and thought, maybe. Maybe there is a reason why I keep hearing about this. Was this the something I’ve been unknowingly searching for? I'd get to teach social studies which is one of my passions, specifically helping kids understand the important role that they play in society. Plus the kicker, I'd get to be an encourager and supporter to the kiddos in my class. I'd get to be a part of their support system. Though I didn’t have any intentions of leaving United Way anytime soon, and definitely didn’t plan to start teaching in January 2018, and feel totally unprepared and overwhelmed, I sincerely believe it’s exactly where I’m supposed to be. And it's exactly where I am going. 

So friends, when you see me over the next few weeks, please ignore the distraught, confused, and overwhelmed look on my, body. Just send goods vibes, lots of prayers, words of encouragement and lots of wine my way. Send all the wine. Because January 2018, this girl will be a teacher, student, store owner of an actual brick and mortar store, mom, wife, and all the other things. 

Here’s to a year of a lot of exciting changes, and one that maybe I'll eventually be able to do Whole30! Hope your year is full of exciting new adventures, too!

Confession: I’ve had a lot of self-doubt throughout this process. I’m not qualified, I hadn’t planned for this, and it meant leaving a job that I enjoy, I’m good at, and comfortable at, one that would potentially lead to the title of President/CEO. If I had to make that decision on my own, I wouldn’t have done it for all of the reasons mentioned above. After initially looking into it, I had actually decided against it. But it was because of the encouragement of my family telling me “yes, you can do this” that pushed me to step out of my comfort zone. And the icing on the cake? After sharing the news with my boss, co-workers, and all those I work with through United Way, they also told me the same: through text, email, and face-to-face conversations I’ve heard nothing but words of encouragement and well wishes from dozens of people. And my new colleagues have been just as encouraging and helpful. It’s been so reassuring, I can’t even explain it. :) 

Because Who Wouldn't Want To Have 2 Jobs?

Because who wouldn’t want to have 2 jobs?

And 2 kids.

And a husband.

And a house and domestic duties. 

And leukemia.

Well the latter isn’t really something I want, but, ya know.

If you are my Facebook friend, then you probably saw that my sister and I are starting our own business. I am so very excited!

I want to start by staying I’m still staying at United Way, because that is my career. I intentionally chose to be at United Way almost 4 years ago. I made personal and financial sacrifices to join the United Way team—mainly, accepted a job offer with a salary almost half as less as what I was making at my then current job. Why would one do such a thing? Because I knew it’s where I was called to be. United Way of Central Kentucky is an amazing organization that does important work in our community for children and families and I love being a part of that as the Vice President.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s a tough, tough job. The hardest job I’ve ever had and I’ve been in store management, office management, banking, and home financing. But knowing that the work that we do gives a child growing up in poverty the opportunity to break the odds and become a successful, self-sufficient adult makes it so, so worth it. Every kid in our community deserves that opportunity, and I get to be a part of that and don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.

But I’ve also always had the passion to be an entrepreneur and partnering with my sister to start a woman’s clothing store seemed like a no-brainer.  We grew up in a family business. I mean, we were literally raised in a bowling alley. I spent most of my days, nights and weekends from the time I was born and all through growing up at the bowling alley watching my parents work hard, really really hard. I am so thankful for that and the experiences I had as it’s where I learned all about hard work and the importance of community. I was raised by not only my parents, but my aunts, uncles, and grandparents as they were also a part of this business at that time, as well as the regular customers at the bowling alley, who are still just like family. It was an amazing experience because I got to not only witness the good times but also the bad times. Specifically the sacrifices you have to make and the struggles of owning your own business, and owning a business with your siblings. It wasn't always rainbows and butterflies and I don't expect it to be with my sister, but also know that with the amazing relationship that we do have, and with the support of our other sister, parents, and husbands, it’s going to be great. On top of growing up in a family business, both of my brother-in-law’s also have their own businesses as well. Entrepreneurship is just a family thing I guess. Hopefully it works out as well for us as it has them. :) 

Going into the fashion industry is what I had planned on doing when I grew up. In high school, I would make my own graphic t-shirts with iron on transfers. One of the shirts I made said ‘Hi Craig’ for a friend of mine that I always said hi to, obnoxiously. Ironically enough, his brother is now who we are renting our store space from. Funny how that worked out. :) 

My mom got us a sewing machine when I was in high school and we sewed some clothing pieces, together. I also even hand sewed my own purse, would sew material on shirts and skirts to spice them up, make belts out of t-shirts, and do other really weird and random things. The plan after graduation was to go to a fashion school in California and once graduation neared and I realized the cost for that was insane, I decided I needed to figure something else out. That something ended up being getting married and moving to Colorado but that’s a story that’s already been told. :) But over the course of those years, actually from the age of 16-20, I worked in retail. I started as an associate, to a sales lead, to assistant management, all the way to store management. I loved it. The last two stores I worked in were Charlotte Russe and Max Rave (a BCBG store) in Louisville and what we mainly did was help women pick out outfits to wear for a fun night out. It was so much fun. But after I became a single mom, I wanted a more 9-5 Monday-Friday job so I could spend more time with Talon so I moved on.

But here we are now. And now I have the opportunity to pursue my desire of entrepreneurship with my passion of retail AND continue my career at United Way. It’s a win, win! And only possible because I am partnering with my sister. She has amazing style and I know will bring great products to our store. She also has the time to be able to manage the store day to day, and I know she'll do great. I’ll be helping more behind the scenes with the finances and marketing, but you'll see me in the store on weekends. It’s a perfect fit. Have I mentioned how excited I am?

But let’s be honest.

I’m also a little overwhelmed.

As I’ve mentioned before, some days are just a struggle to get through a full 40 hour work week, much less a work day because of my health. So I’m not naive to think it will get any better, if anything, it will get worse. And my goal isn’t to work myself to death but to have fun with something new and different and also build something for the future.

And there is no way I could take any of this on if not for the support of my husband. He already has to pick up a lot of the weight around the house on the days that my health knocks me off my feet. And I already work full time during the day so now many of my nights and weekends will also be compromised with either me being sick on the couch or me doing work for the store, whether at home or at the store. So even more at home will fall on his plate when he gets home from work. But he has accepted that challenge and I’m so thankful for his support. We’ve began to implement some things that I hope will help so we can both find that balance and also ensure we are spending as much time with our kids, each other, and ourselves as possible. :) So that’s what I’ll end this post with. That plan.

As a working momma (or not), I encourage you to take some domestic pressure off yourself and partake in some of the below activities. And if you have any other ideas or suggestions on how to create a good work/life balance, please send them my way!

1.    Bills—all of our bills are on auto pay. All. Of. Them. We have 3 accounts. A savings account, bills checking account, and spending checking account. Our paychecks get deposited into our bills account and all of the auto pays for all of our monthly bills come out of that account. Also, each week a set amount of money is automatically transferred from our bills account to our spending account. That’s the account we use for flexible expenses—gas, groceries, shopping, eating out, etc. And a set amount is automatically transferred from the bills account to our savings account each month. All of this is automatic. We do nothing. It’s the best thing I ever set up. I never have to worry about if a bill is paid, if we have enough money in our account to purchase something, etc. and it saves so much time because let’s face it, paying bills and balancing your account can take up some time.

2.    Dinner—I love cooking. I do. But not after I work a full day, pick up the kids, go to practices/games, do homework, sign all the school papers, sell all the school/sports fundraiser stuff, etc. I used to try to cook 4 nights a week. That has dwindled over time. And I hate eating out, it’s expensive and gets old. So my solution has been to use E ’town Meal Prepping and I absolutely love it! Each week I purchase freshly prepped, healthy meals for the week for lunch and a couple of dinners. I still try to cook a couple of nights a week but this takes the pressure off and I know that there is always something at home to eat, whether I am home to cook it or not. Game changer.

3.    Click List—If you haven’t used Kroger's Click List yet, you really need to. I began using it before Taylor was born and it’s changed my life. Each week I order my groceries, pick them up, and then come back home to put them up. What used to take about 2 hours total now takes about 35 minutes.

4.    House Cleaning—we have some ladies come in to clean out house about once a month. It’s great. But I’ve already told TJ that once we open the store, I plan on having someone come more often so that’s one less thing I have to worry about when I’m at home. I’m looking forward to that one. :)

5.    Fetch Fox—so I haven’t used this yet BUT have full intentions on it once things really get crazy. Fetch Fox is a service that will essentially run your errands for you. I’m talking go to Kroger and pick up your Click List order for you AND bring them to your house AND put them up. They even do light tidying up around the house.

The goal is for when TJ and I are at home, all we have to worry about is spending time with our sweet kiddos and each other.

raiment + boon. Coming November 2017. Come check it out, people! We hope you love it!

And wish us all luck! 

Ebbs & Flows

This. This is me 5 days after starting Whole30. In case you were wondering, this isn’t a Whole30 approved food. It's in fact a sausage biscuit from McDonalds and while I really don't like those, I was desperate. 

Let’s back up a little. This week has been a week of changes. My husband started a new job, Taylor started a new ‘day’ schedule, we got rid of cable (dish), and I started a diet.

All in one week.

And this month is my 5 year cancer-versary. It was about this time this year that I heard “you have leukemia”. I was also told, without my treatment, I would only have 3-5 years to live as there is no cure for my leukemia. Thank goodness for this treatment, because here I am, 5 years later, still complaining about my leukemia. :) So if you follow my blog, then you know these past 5 years have been a struggle health wise learning how to live with it and the side effects that come with my treatment. It ebbs and flows and right now, it’s flowing. Boy is it flowing.

For the last 5 years, my life has been controlled by this pill. 

I’ve tried different ways to alleviate the side effects that are at times debilitating. The most recent is changing when I take it. It has to be on a super full stomach or I’ll get sick, and that will be all she wrote for the day. Not very convenient when you work full time and have kids. I had always taken it after dinner so if/when I did get nauseous and super fatigued, I could just try to sleep through it. But the dilemma was, some days I barely have enough energy to make it through the workday so by time I get home, I rarely don’t have the energy to cook, much less have an appetite to eat. So many nights I would just skip taking my treatment. Not only was that a bad choice for the fact that it could cause my leukemia to progress but more importantly, make my body resistant to that type of treatment. And again, without it, my time here will be much shorter than my kids need me.

So I knew I needed to try something new. I decided to start taking it after lunch. It’s my most consistent meal of the day so I know I wont’ have an excuse to skip my treatment. But now I can’t sleep through the side effects. About 30 minutes after I take it, I know I’m going to be hit by a storm of fatigue, at best. At worst, a wave of nausea will hit me so bad that I can’t move, speak, or think or I know I’ll get sick. And it’s not a ‘throw up and feel better’ kind of sick. It’s a ‘throw up every ounce of matter I have in my stomach and feel completely drained and depleted’ sick and I’m done for the day. So when it hits, I try to push through it. I know it will usually only last an hour or so and will pass. When it gets really bad, I’ll take half a Phenergan and again, try to push through it. But sometimes I have no choice but to lay down. Again, none of these things are convenient when you’re working, especially when in a meeting, such has happened many of times. That wave of nausea will hit and I’ll be surrounded by people in a meeting and while I’m smiling and nodding, I’m internally giving myself a pep talk, “don’t throw up, Dana. Don’t throw up. Stand still, don’t move. Just a few more minutes. You can do it”, as I can feel it creeping up my throat. Feeling like that is terrible enough but then also trying to hide it and not look like a weirdo? Double whammy. But this is my life.

So after this trial and error, I knew I needed to try something else. This time my focus was on my diet. While my treatment definitely comes with a host of side effects, I know my unhealthy eating habits don’t help with my energy levels. So what if I could eat food for fuel as they say, then maybe I could better manage my side effects?

I’ve been intrigued by the Whole30. Thirty days, breaking bad food habits, resetting your body, I could do this.

Yeah. Here’s how that went---

Day 1. Ate Whole30 approved foods. Took treatment. Immediately got sick. Took half a Phenergan. Went to sleep.

Day 2. Ate Whole30 approved foods. Took treatment. Immediately got sick. Took half a Phenergan. Went to sleep.

Day 3. Ate Whole30 approved foods. Took treatment. Immediately got sick. Took half a Phenergan. Went to sleep.

Day 4. Ate Whole30 approved foods, until dinner. Ate a ‘normal’ dinner. Took treatment. Immediately got sick. Took half a Phenergan. Went to sleep.

Day 5. Ate a normal breakfast (see picture above), normal lunch. Took treatment. Immediately got sick, had to give my self that pep talk because I was in a meeting. Took half a Phenergan. Left work early. Went to sleep.

The reason why I’ve been getting sick is because with Whole30, you're not supposed to eat grains, for me that means bread and crackers-- foods that I would normally eat to help absorb my treatment. But even when I snuck those in, I was still getting sick. And I can only attest that to the fact that I haven’t been eating as much as normal since my food selection is limited.

Today is day 5. And this was me after lunch, when I should have been at work. 

The whole idea behind Whole30 is by eliminating the ‘bad’ foods, I should have all of this energy. While that may be true, I’ll never know because once I take a Phenergan, it knocks me out and I’m groggy until the next day. It’s like I can’t win for losing.

So to say I’m frustrated is an understatement. I just feel defeated. 

And let me also add that I haven't had a glass of wine in over a week. 

And my husband has been the real MVP this week stepping in when I, just, can't. 

That’s where I am 5 days and 5 years later. Ebbs and flows. 

"The truth is, there is nothing easy about chronic diseases. At the best of times, they are a nuisance that we keep in mind, but at worst, they take hold of our personal and professional lives. My own career choices have at times been altered because of it. One of my biggest regrets will always be not being able to follow through on a dream because of it. So I adjust the sails, and try to compensate, and everything works out in some way, whether for the best or not. And we hold on until it retreats into the background once more. We hold on, and we hope for the better day. Because on those days, we are infinite." 

Confession: 

Since starting my treatment 5 years ago, it has really taken a toll on my hair. Some women lose their hair, some don't, I've been kinda in between. My hair is now weird-- weird texture, grows weird, only grows in some areas. As a woman, it's been the side effect that's been hard on my feminine pride. While I like short hair, it's hasn't been a choice. Until recently, while it's still weird texture and weird growing, it is growing more and my hair is longer now than it has been in years. While it still might not look the best, and thinned out in some spots, I sure am proud of it. 

Do Something

Alright friends, I’ll admit what has finally pushed myself to blog again is out of frustration. I should probably clarify, I love to blog, it’s just finding the time, because well, kids. And allll the time I’m like “I’m going to make time.  Tonight’s the night.” Then, well, kids.

So what finally got me here? Facebook. And other comments I’ve repetitively heard lately.

“The world is bad. Blah blah blah. Our kids are going to grow up in a bad world. Blah blah blah.”…. and that’s not what gets me. This is what gets me….

“And it’s because <insert a Christian prohibition excuse here>” 

Mainly--- it is the way it is because ‘they’ don’t allow Jesus and the Bible in school anymore.  

Friends, ‘bad’ things aren’t happening because the Bible isn’t being taught in school. Bad things are happening because WE aren’t doing anything to prevent them.

And by doing anything, I don’t mean praying. Praying is a wonderful thing, but prayer is for the prayer, not the prayee. God didn’t call upon us to tell Him what action HE needs to take. He called upon us to take that action.

Pray about it then DO SOMETHING! Anything! If it’s regarding a particular person, send that person a message of encouragement. If it’s about a condition or an event, take action to fix it. Push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Jesus and the Bible ARE allowed in the schools and in any public and private institution in the world through each of us. Each of us were called to walk the walk, not just talk the talk. And it’s our duties to teach our children to do the same. Teaching your child to sit with the ‘outcast’ kid in their school is bringing Jesus into the school. Teaching your child not to bully or make fun of others is bringing Jesus into the school.

If our lives are comfortable and neat, we are doing it wrong. It’s supposed to be messy, vulnerable, and at times uncomfortable. And I mean this when I say, I’m just as guilty as the rest. But step one is being self-aware, right? J  

Instead of watching Oprah in the break room on your lunch break, go to a local school and have lunch with a child whose world has just been turned upside down because they’ve been removed from their home because their parents are drug addicts, to show him that there are LOTS of people who do care about him and he is worth so much more than he could ever imagine. Instead of buying your daughter 20 new outfits for back to school, buy her 19 and buy a child whose family can barely afford to put food on the table 1 new outfit that they can feel proud and confident in. Instead of complaining about that person begging for money on the side of the street, give money to United Way who is providing skills and interventions those individuals need to be able to support themselves.

None of us are above being a part of the solution to the problems that exist in our community. It is on each and every one of us, Christian or not, but especially those who proclaim such as that is what God has called us to do. That is our purpose.

And when you feel overwhelmed, just listen to one of my favorite songs, Do Something by Matthew West then let’s have lunch and talk about alllll the ways that you can make a difference!